Hey Blake! I have seen that you have decided to go with the storybook. From first impressions, I liked how you used the picture of animals as your background. That was a cute touch. As of right now, you have published you introduction to the "zoo." This seems like a very fun topic. I enjoyed that you kept a lot of the original story by using quotes. My only comment would be to add a bit more of your own thoughts on the story. But, I did really enjoy what you have written. I personally would not change a whole lot. You have set the tone for an escape. It will be nice to see how that unfolds in your later stories. It might be also good to make it a little bit longer, as well. I thought that it ended pretty fast. Keep up all of the good work! I will be looking forward to reading the rest of the sections.
Hello Blake! I really like your website! Your home page seems very well laid out and you have a nice title for your storybook. I like the picture you added that really helps me get my mind around what your story will be like. It could use a small explanation of your story however and is something you should keep in mind. Your story is fairly well written and very detailed. It is an interesting take on the original story. One thing that might be a little better though is your spacing around dialogue. For dialogue it might be nice for the lines of each character to be separated by lines and not all in a paragraph because it makes it harder to follow with it all bunched up in a single paragraph. Overall good work and I look forward to seeing how it progresses throughout the semester to completion.
I was excited to see that you went with the storybook option! I have not had a chance to read any storybooks so far this semester. Your current website setup looks great. I really like the high quality image that you used in the background. It goes along nicely with the overall theme of the storybook. I think people tend to struggle with stuff like this, but yours looks great! I really like the direction you are headed with your storybook. I think you have a really unique and creative perspective on Ravana. I did not anticipate Ravana to own his own zoo, and I think that it is a really awesome idea. I felt bad when I was reading about poor Matsya. He did not have much of a choice and was forced to join this evil zoo. I am looking forward to his great escape! I wonder who is going to free him? I will make sure to check back in the next few weeks to find that out.
Wow Blake, your storybook looks very nice! The photos you've chosen for your banners are beautiful, especially the fish. You might consider moving your photo credits to the bottom of the site, though. I think this could make it feel cleaner and more organized. I like the idea of Ravana's zoo. I feel like that's exactly something he would do. He has no problem stealing beautiful women from their husbands so why would he have qualms about capturing beautiful animals. Oh! I actually read about Suvannamaccha! I'm excited to see what you'll do with her story. I like that you explain in your author's note how you came up with the names. I thought they were very creative and fitting. If you wanted to, you could spice up your story a bit more by adding photos to break up the story. I felt that your home page was a little bare. You could include a title for you banner image or talk some about what this class is and what you'll be writing about. Very nice job and I can't wait to see what else you'll write!
I just want to start by saying, I really like your website and its layout. The idea of Ravana having a zoo is entertaining. I thought the fisherman was really nice to save the poor little fish until he took him to Ravana. I hope you continue this story, it sounds very interesting. I would really like to see if the animals can escape and how. I'm a little confused though about whether it's just the water animals that want to escape or all of the animals. You didn't really talk about other animals in the story. Maybe you can change it into an aquarium if it's just about the water animals. I think it would be interesting to see Ravana become a creature at his own zoo. The explanation of how the fish ended up at the zoo and why Ravana created a zoo was really helpful and gave some background of what has happened in the story. I look forward to seeing what happens next!
First off, I find your concept so interesting! The title drew my attention, but then as I continued to read, I realized just how genius it is! I would find it interesting if you took great creative liberties with this zoo idea. For example, the vulture king that Ravana killed when he took Sita... wouldn't it be cool if, instead of killing him, he decided to lock him up in a zoo to be placed on display for the wealthier people in the kingdom to gawk at? And what if his brother came to rescue him? There are so many creative ways to tell this zoo story, and I'm so curious how you will proceed from here! My only "advice," or call it a preference, would be falling into only telling animal stories. Ravana was an enormously powerful (and cocky!) being. If anyone would be able to go out and capture gods, demigods, or demons for his own amusement, it would be Ravana, right?
Your title drew me in, as I thought it was interesting that Ravana would have a zoo! The picture of all the animals was a nice touch to get me thinking about what the zoo of a demon king would look like! It might be worthwhile to add a little snippet about your storybook on the home page that elaborates on what your story will be about.
As I read your first story, I realized that I totally wouldn't put it past Ravana to try and hoard all the beautiful creatures for himself, much like he captured Sita for his own enjoyment. I can just picture the rakshasas roaming the earth trying to outdo each other by bringing the most wondrous of creatures to their lord Ravana.
I'm interested to see how the land creatures feel about the subject, which I'm sure you'll explore in later stories as you mentioned there being many other animals in the zoo. I wonder how they'll escape! Since we see mermaids here (which I wouldn't necessarily consider an animal), I'm curious to see what else Ravana has collected for himself besides your regular animals.
Hi Blake! I enjoyed your interpretation and unique retelling of the story. The title of your story, "Ravana's Zoo", drew me in and sounded intriguing because in the original Ramayana I do not remember Ravana having any animals, much less a zoo. However, your story reminded me and in a sense correlated with how Sita was held captive by Ravana just like the animals in your retelling. I love the details that you incorporated into the story because that allowed myself and other readers to have a visual and better understanding of what is going on. I wonder what the story would be like if readers got to read about the animals getting to escape Ravana's capture. In addition, how would the story be different or enhanced if readers got to know more about Suvannamaccha and Musali, and their individual story on how they got placed in Ravana's Zoo. This story was wonderfully written and I cannot wait to read your future stories, Blake!
Blake, you have picked a very creative and unique topic for your storybook project. I like how you combined Ravana with the mythological creates. It will be interesting to learn about the different animal tales from Hindu Mythology. Could you possibly put a link to where the book Pashu: Animal Tales from Hindu Mythology is found? I really enjoy animal stories and in the later weeks I think we get to pick stories to read and I might want to read some of these stories. I also enjoyed the foreshowing of someone coming to rescue the animals. There are many possibilities for who could come to set the animals free. One plot line that came into mind if you are still trying to figure out ideas was Hanuman. I am curious if Hanuman will be the one to rescue the animals since he is a monkey and would not wanted to be caged up himself or has a fellow friend caged up in the zoo? Or does Ravana have a strict no monkey policy for his zoo since it was foretold his destruction would come at the hands of monkeys? Great job, I can't wait to come back and read more!
Hi Blake! I really like the outline of your page! The home page is very nice and the title is extremely interesting! I was trying to figure out how you came up with it. I also like the picture you added of the animals and I really appreciate that. One thin you could do is possibly add an explanation as to how you came up with this idea in a blurb of the home page! I think that would really draw the attention of your readers! I love your story and its originality. One thing that could be really good is to add more dialogue! I was confused as to what was going on. Also, maybe the author's notes could add a little bit more of why you chose to go with this topic! I look forward to reading more from you!
Hi Blake great story! I like how you added onto Ramayana in a completely different way. There was no mention of a zoo in the story at all, so your story definitely brings something kew. I really like how you mention how it seemed like a good deal for the fish. He would be able to swim free. However, when he got there that would not be the case. One thing I would definitely recommend is adding a short introduction. I was a little confused when I first read your story because I did not understand what was going on at the beginning. I think adding an introduction would help mitigate all of the confusion. I found your backstory about how the fish got to the zoo entertaining. The fish having a reason to jump onto the boat made the story more interesting. Great job on your first story, I look forward to reading more.
Hey Blake! I have seen that you have decided to go with the storybook. From first impressions, I liked how you used the picture of animals as your background. That was a cute touch. As of right now, you have published you introduction to the "zoo." This seems like a very fun topic. I enjoyed that you kept a lot of the original story by using quotes. My only comment would be to add a bit more of your own thoughts on the story. But, I did really enjoy what you have written. I personally would not change a whole lot. You have set the tone for an escape. It will be nice to see how that unfolds in your later stories. It might be also good to make it a little bit longer, as well. I thought that it ended pretty fast. Keep up all of the good work! I will be looking forward to reading the rest of the sections.
ReplyDeleteHello Blake!
ReplyDeleteI really like your website! Your home page seems very well laid out and you have a nice title for your storybook. I like the picture you added that really helps me get my mind around what your story will be like. It could use a small explanation of your story however and is something you should keep in mind. Your story is fairly well written and very detailed. It is an interesting take on the original story. One thing that might be a little better though is your spacing around dialogue. For dialogue it might be nice for the lines of each character to be separated by lines and not all in a paragraph because it makes it harder to follow with it all bunched up in a single paragraph. Overall good work and I look forward to seeing how it progresses throughout the semester to completion.
Hey there, Blake!
ReplyDeleteI was excited to see that you went with the storybook option! I have not had a chance to read any storybooks so far this semester. Your current website setup looks great. I really like the high quality image that you used in the background. It goes along nicely with the overall theme of the storybook. I think people tend to struggle with stuff like this, but yours looks great! I really like the direction you are headed with your storybook. I think you have a really unique and creative perspective on Ravana. I did not anticipate Ravana to own his own zoo, and I think that it is a really awesome idea. I felt bad when I was reading about poor Matsya. He did not have much of a choice and was forced to join this evil zoo. I am looking forward to his great escape! I wonder who is going to free him? I will make sure to check back in the next few weeks to find that out.
Wow Blake, your storybook looks very nice! The photos you've chosen for your banners are beautiful, especially the fish. You might consider moving your photo credits to the bottom of the site, though. I think this could make it feel cleaner and more organized. I like the idea of Ravana's zoo. I feel like that's exactly something he would do. He has no problem stealing beautiful women from their husbands so why would he have qualms about capturing beautiful animals. Oh! I actually read about Suvannamaccha! I'm excited to see what you'll do with her story. I like that you explain in your author's note how you came up with the names. I thought they were very creative and fitting. If you wanted to, you could spice up your story a bit more by adding photos to break up the story. I felt that your home page was a little bare. You could include a title for you banner image or talk some about what this class is and what you'll be writing about. Very nice job and I can't wait to see what else you'll write!
ReplyDeleteHey Blake!
ReplyDeleteI just want to start by saying, I really like your website and its layout. The idea of Ravana having a zoo is entertaining. I thought the fisherman was really nice to save the poor little fish until he took him to Ravana. I hope you continue this story, it sounds very interesting. I would really like to see if the animals can escape and how. I'm a little confused though about whether it's just the water animals that want to escape or all of the animals. You didn't really talk about other animals in the story. Maybe you can change it into an aquarium if it's just about the water animals. I think it would be interesting to see Ravana become a creature at his own zoo. The explanation of how the fish ended up at the zoo and why Ravana created a zoo was really helpful and gave some background of what has happened in the story. I look forward to seeing what happens next!
Hi Blake!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I find your concept so interesting! The title drew my attention, but then as I continued to read, I realized just how genius it is! I would find it interesting if you took great creative liberties with this zoo idea. For example, the vulture king that Ravana killed when he took Sita... wouldn't it be cool if, instead of killing him, he decided to lock him up in a zoo to be placed on display for the wealthier people in the kingdom to gawk at? And what if his brother came to rescue him? There are so many creative ways to tell this zoo story, and I'm so curious how you will proceed from here! My only "advice," or call it a preference, would be falling into only telling animal stories. Ravana was an enormously powerful (and cocky!) being. If anyone would be able to go out and capture gods, demigods, or demons for his own amusement, it would be Ravana, right?
Hey Blake!
ReplyDeleteYour title drew me in, as I thought it was interesting that Ravana would have a zoo! The picture of all the animals was a nice touch to get me thinking about what the zoo of a demon king would look like! It might be worthwhile to add a little snippet about your storybook on the home page that elaborates on what your story will be about.
As I read your first story, I realized that I totally wouldn't put it past Ravana to try and hoard all the beautiful creatures for himself, much like he captured Sita for his own enjoyment. I can just picture the rakshasas roaming the earth trying to outdo each other by bringing the most wondrous of creatures to their lord Ravana.
I'm interested to see how the land creatures feel about the subject, which I'm sure you'll explore in later stories as you mentioned there being many other animals in the zoo. I wonder how they'll escape! Since we see mermaids here (which I wouldn't necessarily consider an animal), I'm curious to see what else Ravana has collected for himself besides your regular animals.
Hi Blake! I enjoyed your interpretation and unique retelling of the story. The title of your story, "Ravana's Zoo", drew me in and sounded intriguing because in the original Ramayana I do not remember Ravana having any animals, much less a zoo. However, your story reminded me and in a sense correlated with how Sita was held captive by Ravana just like the animals in your retelling. I love the details that you incorporated into the story because that allowed myself and other readers to have a visual and better understanding of what is going on. I wonder what the story would be like if readers got to read about the animals getting to escape Ravana's capture. In addition, how would the story be different or enhanced if readers got to know more about Suvannamaccha and Musali, and their individual story on how they got placed in Ravana's Zoo. This story was wonderfully written and I cannot wait to read your future stories, Blake!
ReplyDeleteBlake, you have picked a very creative and unique topic for your storybook project. I like how you combined Ravana with the mythological creates. It will be interesting to learn about the different animal tales from Hindu Mythology. Could you possibly put a link to where the book Pashu: Animal Tales from Hindu Mythology is found? I really enjoy animal stories and in the later weeks I think we get to pick stories to read and I might want to read some of these stories. I also enjoyed the foreshowing of someone coming to rescue the animals. There are many possibilities for who could come to set the animals free. One plot line that came into mind if you are still trying to figure out ideas was Hanuman. I am curious if Hanuman will be the one to rescue the animals since he is a monkey and would not wanted to be caged up himself or has a fellow friend caged up in the zoo? Or does Ravana have a strict no monkey policy for his zoo since it was foretold his destruction would come at the hands of monkeys? Great job, I can't wait to come back and read more!
ReplyDeleteHi Blake!
ReplyDeleteI really like the outline of your page! The home page is very nice and the title is extremely interesting! I was trying to figure out how you came up with it. I also like the picture you added of the animals and I really appreciate that. One thin you could do is possibly add an explanation as to how you came up with this idea in a blurb of the home page! I think that would really draw the attention of your readers! I love your story and its originality. One thing that could be really good is to add more dialogue! I was confused as to what was going on. Also, maybe the author's notes could add a little bit more of why you chose to go with this topic! I look forward to reading more from you!
Hi Blake great story! I like how you added onto Ramayana in a completely different way. There was no mention of a zoo in the story at all, so your story definitely brings something kew. I really like how you mention how it seemed like a good deal for the fish. He would be able to swim free. However, when he got there that would not be the case. One thing I would definitely recommend is adding a short introduction. I was a little confused when I first read your story because I did not understand what was going on at the beginning. I think adding an introduction would help mitigate all of the confusion. I found your backstory about how the fish got to the zoo entertaining. The fish having a reason to jump onto the boat made the story more interesting. Great job on your first story, I look forward to reading more.
ReplyDelete