 |
| photo credits |
Rama, oh Rama
I'm not sure how much longer I can wait
I want to let you fulfill your duty
But I also want to escape!
I know it is your job to save me
But I can do it on my own
I want to leave Ravana's garden
And return to what I've known
I've had many days to think
I've had time to plot
Finally I've found the best way
The perfect little spot
I'd get up in the night
Quite as a mouse
Slowly grab my things and leave
Away from Ravana's house
I'd swim across the sea
All throughout the night
Once Ravana awoke
I'd be gone from sight
You see, I've made a plan with Suvannamaccha
Hanuman's mermaid girl
She'll help me swim through the water
She's precious as a pearl
I wanted to give you the chance
I even turned Hanuman away
But it has been nearly a year
How much longer can I stay?
Rama I love you
But this has not been easy
I thought you'd rescue me quickly
Yet I'm still stuck with Ravana, so sleazy!
Every day Ravana torments me
He expects me to disobey you
I would never humiliate my Rama
If Ravana only knew
Exile with you wasn't so bad
Being with you is all I wanted
But I've been here so long
I'm starting to feel daunted
But I will give you more time
To be the husband I know you can be
Time to come to Lanka
To rescue and to save me
Once we are united
I know it will be the same
Despite my time with Ravana
I haven't tarnished your name
We can wander through the forest
And swim in the lake
But now I am so lonely
If you don't come soon my heart will break
Author's Note: I was inspired by Sita Sings the Blues and wanted to tell about Sita's time in Ravana's garden. Sita Sings the Blues also has lots of music, so I wanted to try my hand at that my writing a poem from Sita's view.
Bibliography: Sita Sings the Blues by Nina Paley
Blake, first and foremost, I love that you took a step outside of the box to write this poem/song! It is the first one that I have come across in the blog list thus far, and I am glad I did! Did you enjoy this writing style and would you try it again? I may attempt this in the future! If you choose to continue to utilize poetry, you could always try different styles of poetry that may not perfectly rhyme in every stanza. Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteBlake,
ReplyDeleteThis was great! My weakness has always been writing poems from the beginning, so I really appreciate and enjoy the work of others. I had not read this version, so your rewrite was a lot of fun to read. I wonder if you plan base your other posts off the different styles of poetry, if you're good then it would be awesome to read! I'm going to see your project, wonder if the poetry continues.
I love some of these rhymes!! "Easy" and "sleazy" made me laugh out loud. I think this is a good representation of Sita's state of mind at the time of her capture, and I think that shows how well you're able to put yourselves in her shoes. Great work! I like that you mention that she turned Hanuman away. Great little details from the story in there.
ReplyDeleteWow I love your poem! Last semester I attempted to do some poety in my storytelling and it definitely turn out as well as yours! I also like how much imagery you still incorporated into your story rather than merely focusing on her feelings. Like when you brought in the imagery of a mouse, I could imagine what you were seeing!
ReplyDelete